


Live And Let Live

by innersanctuaries



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angel Dean Winchester, Angel Sam Winchester, Angst, Hunter Castiel, Hunter Gabriel (Supernatural), M/M, Reincarnation
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-24
Updated: 2018-03-24
Packaged: 2019-04-07 12:43:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,651
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14081199
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/innersanctuaries/pseuds/innersanctuaries
Summary: The wings of angels may be entrusted to others, even if it is involuntary.





	Live And Let Live

**Author's Note:**

> Yeah, this? I was up until five in the morning writing this. I've gotta go to a wedding today, so hooray for running on nothing but three hours of sleep and coffee!
> 
> Also, hell yeah to writing two fics in one day! Or technically two days, but I didn't sleep until after I finished it, so fuck this, I wrote it in one day.
> 
> Anyway, I hope y'all like it! Song inspo is Let You Down by NF (I used the version without rap because that ain't my thing)
> 
> (https://youtu.be/Orpc8NJGpOU)
> 
> EDIT: Changed the title, I named it before I had my coffee and thought up a better one later on.

 Gabriel had never known exactly why an Angel of the Lord would look at him the way Sam did. Even so, you wouldn’t catch him complaining, not once. He wouldn’t risk jinxing it.

 

 Before Sam showed up, he’d always called bullshit on the “love at first sight” thing. Gabriel never counted on a literal angel showing up on his doorstep and collapsing into his arms, wings dragging on the floor behind him.

 

_  “What the hell? Cas, get over here and help me!” _

 

_ “G’brl?”  _

 

_  “How the fuck do you know my name?” _

 

 It had been years, and he’d never found out himself how Sam had known his name. What he did know was that Sam’s eyes were the brightest and most beautiful he’d ever seen, even when they were glassy and unfocused.

 

 Not a day went by that Gabriel didn’t thank his unlucky stars that Sam and Dean had walked into their lives. Without them, Gabriel knew for a fact that he and Castiel would be dead. He knew without a doubt that he would be dead by now, at least. 

 

 He’d been the last one to trust them. It was unsettling, the way the angels knew everything about him and Cas. Their bullshit excuse that they’d “been watching them for a while” didn’t fool him for a second, and he knew now that he was right to doubt it. This was one of those times he kinda wished he hadn’t been right. 

 

_ “Who the hell are you two?” _

 

_ “Well, I’m the badass angel Dean, and that there’s my brother,” Annoyance rolled off of the douchebag, but only when he spoke to Gabriel. Apparently he was taking a shine to Castiel. _

 

_  “Who the hell are you, then?” He gestured angrily at the taller angel. _

 

_ “My name is Sam. I’m an archangel, surprisingly enough,” He was uncomfortable, too humble, and for some reason, that pissed him right off.  _

 

_  “Why would that be surprising?” Narrowing his eyes, he studied Sam for some kind of reaction. All he got was a sad sigh and shrug. _

 

_ “It’s nothing, Gabriel.” _

 

 Sam used to tell him tales of how he and Cassie could have started the apocalypse, told him the things he and Dean had done to keep heaven from trying to start it themselves.

 

_ “They’ve done it before, you know.” _

 

_  “Done what?” The stars were beautiful that night, and he tried not to think that it could be because he was next to the most breathtaking man he’d ever laid eyes on. _

 

_ “Tried to start the apocalypse. They always go for brothers to help them kickstart it, one older and one younger.” _

 

_  “Why?” _

 

_ “I don’t know, Gabriel,” Sam was whispering now, looking up at the sky with so much pain in his eyes. If he closed his eyes, Gabriel was sure he’d be able to hear angry accusations thrown like sharpened darts at heaven. He knew it.  _

 

_  “You alright, kiddo?” _

 

_ “Don’t worry about me. I’m an angel, I’m supposed to be the one taking care of you.”  _

__

_  Gabriel wanted to kiss that forced smile off of his face, he wanted to be the one Sam could take that mask off around and be himself. Gabriel wanted Sam. Oh, how he wanted. _

 

__ It was so fast, the rate at which he fell for Sam. There was no warning at all, it just happened. One moment he was furious at these two winged bastards for taking so long to show up and help the earth, and the next he had his fingers tangled in Sam’s long hair, kissing him like he needed it just as much as he needed air. 

 

_ “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t- You don’t want this,” Sam pulled away, shaking and stuttering, panicked. _

 

_  “Don’t tell me what I want and don’t want, Sammy. I know what I want, and I want you.” _

 

_ “Gabriel, it’s not you, I’m not even supposed to be here. I don’t know what I’m doing here.” _

 

_  “Don’t leave. Please, don’t leave. If you don’t want this, I’ll back off. Just don’t leave.” _

_  Gabriel saw the internal battle the archangel had with himself, jaw clenching and unclenching. Reaching out, Gabriel brushed Sam’s hair out of his face, drinking in his beauty. Never in a million years did he think he’d be looking at someone as glorious as the man before him.  _

 

_ “I won’t,” Sam moved forward hesitantly, throwing caution to the wind and kissing him sweetly. “The only thing that would make me leave you would be death itself.” _

 

__ Gabriel never knew that such a powerful angel could feel as fragile as Sam did sometimes. There would be days that his eyes would cloud over like a black summertime thunderstorm, unexpected and unwanted. He wanted so badly to get on his knees and beg to know what was wrong, to ask how he could help. He still wished he had. 

 

_ “What’s wrong, Samshine?” _

 

_ “I miss home sometimes,” His voice was filled with longing and sadness, something so painful.  _

 

_  “Why don’t you ever go visit?” _

 

_ “Can’t. It’s gone.” _

 

_  “What do you mean?” _

 

_ “It’s nothing, Gabe. I’ll be fine.” _

 

 In fights, Sam would never fail to protect him first. Castiel and Dean be damned, Gabriel was always his priority. Gabriel would yell at him about it until he was blue in the face, but nothing would change Sam’s single-minded determination to keep him safe.

 

_ “Cas always made sure that Dean stayed safe and wants to make sure Cas knows he appreciates it. This is the only way he knows how to do it,” Warm tendrils of Grace reached out and creeped across his skin, healing everything in its path. _

 

_  “What do you mean, Cas has always made sure Dean stayed safe? We just met you guys.” _

 

__ Gabriel hadn’t gotten a response that day, or ever. Sam disappeared and didn’t come back until the next day, when he pretended nothing had ever happened. He supposed that he understood now.

 

_ “Will you ever tell me about this stuff?” _

 

_ “There are some things I can’t tell you, Angel. I wish I could.” _

 

__ There were few times that Gabriel would let things drop, but that was one of them. In fact, he was pretty sure that nearly all the times he did something like that involved Sam.  __

 

__ The moment they got into the swing of things, they became a dynamic duo. Literally flying into battle, Sam was all blades, strength, and finesse, while Gabriel was knives, bullets, and balance. Hunts became that much easier in every way, Cas and Dean becoming their own team. In fact, the four of them created their own little family.

 

_ “I’m happy,” Gabriel lay his head on Sam’s bare chest, their bodies pressed together under the warm covers. _

 

_ “Really? How come?” _

 

_  “I’m with you.” _

 

_  They would always slip into silences that he would mentally describe as smiles, and this time was no different. A smiling silence fell upon them both, enveloping them in contentedness. _

 

_ “I’m happy too, Angel.” _

 

_  “I love you.” _

 

_ “I love you right back.” _

 

__ After eight years, he’d never expected anything to happen them on a simple demon hunt. It was only five, against two hunters and two angels, they didn’t stand a chance.

 

 He didn’t like the way he felt Sam’s wings flare out as soon as they stepped into the warehouse.

 

 “Sammy? What’s wrong?”

 

“Dean, do you feel that?” Sam put his hand against Gabriel’s chest, putting himself in front of him. 

 

“If that’s who I think it is, then you better get your fucking blade ready,” Dean hissed.

 

“Who are you both talking about? Dean, who do you mean?” Cas sounded panicked, voice tinged with fear.

 

 “Sam, what’s going on?”

 

 If he was about to respond, Gabriel didn’t know. Not when a man with the cruelest grin he’d ever seen stepped out of nowhere, a blade all too similar to Sam’s in hand.

 

“Hey there, Sammy. How’s this life been treating you?” 

 

“Fuck you, Lucifer,” Sam spat, trying to shield Gabriel from sight. 

 

“Is that my little brother you have there? Gabriel, nice to see you again!” 

 

 “Brother? What the hell are you talking about?” 

 

“I think I’ll be able to explain much better with us alone,” With a flick on his wrist, Cas and Dean were gone before they could even think about protesting. At seeing Sam still standing there, confusion bloomed on Lucifer’s face before that smirk came right back. “Looks like you and Dean took the places of your little boyfriends in this life, huh?” 

 

“How are you here?” Sam growled, fury rolling off him in waves. “Leave. This isn’t your universe. You don’t belong here.”

 

“Shut up, I’m not here for you. I am here for that little guy you’ve got behind you,” Gabriel’s blood ran cold when Lucifer pointed at him. It felt like a death sentence. Had he not been so preoccupied with what was happening then, he might have stopped to wonder why his chest started hurting so badly. 

 

“You’re not fucking taking him from me again, you  _ bastard! _ ” Roaring, the shadows of Sam’s wings snapped open angrily, a warning, a battle cry. 

 

“About that,” Dropping into a defensive stance, Lucifer shrugged cockily. “I am. Can’t risk any old memories popping in, you know?”

 

“Gabriel,” Sam whispered, keeping his eyes forward the whole time. “I need you to leave.”

 

 “No. I’m not leaving you.”

 

“I’m sorry. I love you, Angel.”

 

 In hindsight, Gabriel knew he couldn’t do anything in the situation, but that didn’t mean he’d ever stop hating himself over it. With a press of Sam’s fingers to his forehead, he found himself outside with his brother and Dean.

 

“Where the hell is Sammy? What did he  _ do?”  _ Dean was too close, he was yelling, he was he was he was-

 

 Gabriel’s mind exploded with images, memories he never knew he had, memories of a life he hadn’t lived.

 

_ Grace thrumming through his veins, love tinging it a gorgeous rosy color, the same color of Sam’s cheeks when he got flustered _

 

_  Popping in and out of motel rooms, hiding Sam in his wings, joy on his face and brightening his eyes when Gabriel let him groom them _

 

_  Snapping up candy whenever, handing Sam gummy worms whenever he was in a bad mood and grinning so wide he could feel his halo make an appearance when Sam kissed him, soft and sugary sweet _

 

_  A blade to the chest, the first time in a hotel, the second time in a field, both times for Sam _

 

_  Begging cries for him to stay, to hold on, wishes he couldn’t fulfill _

 

_  Nothingness. _

 

 “Dean, I need to get in. I need to get in  _ NOW,  _ or my brother will kill him.”

 

“Your-” Though he was gaping, Dean was already looking for a way in. “You  _ remember? _ ”

 

 “Yes, now help me find a fucking way in, you useless idiot!”

 

 They knew something was wrong when the doors unlocked. There was no blue-white light shining through them, but the fact that they had opened was enough to have Gabriel running in without a second thought.

 

 “Sam! Sam, where are you?” 

 

“Gabriel! You’re back! Nice to see you again.”

 

 The man he loved slumped to the floor, his own blade buried in his chest. Fire and fury rushed through him, enough that he could have sworn he felt his wings from another life spurring him forward, quickly enough to snap kick the archangel blade from Lucifer’s grip. Lucifer had no time to be surprised, not when Gabriel caught the damn thing mid-air and drove it into his heart hard enough to make a dull, hollow  _ squish-thunk _ as it landed. 

 

 Watching Lucifer scream, seeing the light explode from his body, those were some of the most satisfying things he’d ever seen. Shoving his lifeless body back, Gabriel slowly stepped over to Sam.

 

 Sam groaned, and Gabriel  _ ran _ to him. He was  _ alive _ . He could make it. 

 

 “Sammy? Holy shit, you’re alive!” Falling to his knees, he ignored the pain of hitting the cold cement too quickly and dragged Sam up so his head was laying in his lap.

 

“G’brl? ‘m I dead?” 

 

 “I just said you’re alive, dummy,” No, he wouldn’t pay attention to the blue glow slowly making its way into Sam’s eyes. “You’re gonna be fine.”

 

 Letting out an ugly wheezing thing in place of a laugh, Sam reached up to touch his cheek with a bloodied hand. 

 

_ That’s not his laugh, that’s not his head thrown back and his eyes crinkling shut while he laughs at a stupid joke I told him. That’s not it. _

 

“You remember,” They were tears, he told himself. That color in his eyes was just because of the tears. “You look different when you remember.”

 

 “Why didn’t you just tell me, sugar?”

 

“Didn’t know how the world would like that,” Wincing, he tried to get closer to Gabriel. “Can you hold me? I’m cold. I’m really cold.”

 

 “You’re okay,” He was freezing, so different from his usual radiant warmth. “I’ve got you.”

 

“I know you don’t like it, but you have to go soon,” Sam said quietly. “I don’t want you to see me die.”

 

 “You’re not going to die!” It was a lie, that glow was getting brighter and the blood was flowing more freely, his tears dripping down and mixing with the crimson red. “I’m not leaving you, Sammy. I won’t leave you alone.”

 

“You’ll get hurt. I don’t want to hurt you. I want you to be safe,” Scrunching his teary eyes shut, Sam turned his head away from him.

 

 “Don’t close your eyes on me, I want to see you here.”

 

“I don’t want you to see it happen,” Sam wept, holding onto Gabriel for dear life. “I’m scared, Gabriel. I’m scared.”

 

 “You’re gonna be alright. You’re gonna go to heaven and I’ll see you there, we’ll be together there.”

 

“Angels go to the Empty.”

 

 “I didn’t. Dad made an exception for me, and I think he’ll do it again for you. You’re a much better person than I’ll ever be, he has to,” He prayed an exception would be made. What would heaven be without his beloved? 

 

“Thank you for falling in love with me again,” Sam’s voice was getting quieter, more tired than it had been before. “Thank you for keeping me around.”

 

 “Sam Winchester,” Leaning down, Gabriel pressed their lips together in a desperate kiss, one they both knew was their last. “I never have and never will be as in love with anyone as I am and always have been with you.”

 

“I love you right back, Angel.”

 

 In the end, Sam fell asleep in Gabriel’s arms before his wings burned themselves into Gabriel’s skin, a permanent reminder of who he’d failed to save. When Cas and Dean came in looking for them, they found Gabriel whispering Sam’s favorite songs and stories to his lover’s body, eyes shut tight. As long as he didn’t open them to see the three pairs of ashen wings on the floor and on his chest, it wasn’t real. 

 

 Dean had to knock him out in order to get him to let go of Sam’s body.

 

 “No, no, he needs me! I can’t leave him alone, I won’t let him wake up alone!” 

 

“I’m sorry, Gabriel.”

 

 Cas dragged him to the car, where he woke to them dabbing at the hideous burns on his chest.

 

 “Don’t touch me!” He snarled, shoving his brother away. “Get the hell off of me!”

 

“Gabriel, your wounds will scar badly if not tended to-”

 

 “Leave them there, Castiel.”

 

“But Gabriel-”

 

 “I want them there, brother. Just leave them there.”

 

 In the end, Gabriel sat in the back of the car, praying to God that his angel was in heaven where he belonged. They drove away from a hunter’s funeral, one he’d seen before. But this one, this was the last funeral for that hunter. Gabriel sat and wept as they drove away from his angel.

**Author's Note:**

> Ironically enough, I was just talking to my friend a little bit earlier about how people need to stop hurting Sam so much. And yet here we are.
> 
> I haven't done straight-up angst in a while and was experiencing withdrawals, so I had to kill SOMEONE off. I couldn't do it to Gabriel after all the shit he's been through, so of course it had to be Sam. Sorry about that!
> 
> To answer a few questions you might have: 
> 
> 1.) I know that only archangels can wield an archangel blade, and the only reason Gabriel was able to use it in this fic was because he'd been an archangel in his past life. I would have mentioned it, but it was unnecessary and would have sounded too exposition-y.
> 
> 2.) The apocalypse didn't even have a chance to happen in this one because Sam and Dean dropped in before either Cas or Gabriel did some stupid shit to kickstart it. 
> 
> 3.) If you're wondering how Lucifer was there, I have no fuckin clue either. Use your imagination, because 5am me didn't seem to care enough to give me any context on that. He's just....there. 
> 
> 4.) Yes, I cried just as hard as you did. My dumb ass was laying in bed typing on her phone with her headphones in, silently sobbing and trying not to wake the rest of the house up.
> 
> ANYWAY, I hope you guys enjoyed it! Please comment feedback, it helps keep me motivated and helps me know what you guys do and don't like!
> 
> Follow me on Instagram at @archangelica_angelica or on tumblr at innersanctuaries if you want to get in touch or just to watch me shitpost!


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